Sunday, 16 August 2015

A man's love or a woman's submission, which should come first?




Please Naija mum,I want to use this medium to ask this question. I was arguing with a male colleague at work on friday, which should come first, a wife's submission to her husband or a husband to love his wife? According to him, he said in the bible, wifes'  were addressed first to submit to their husbands before telling husbands to love their wifes' as Christ loved the church. In my opinion, I think Love should come first because  if husbands were commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church,he died for our sins and  that's the greatest sacrifice of all,so what do you think?‎




In my own opinion, love and submission shouldn't be assigned to each gender in a relationship or marriage. If a man only desires his woman to be submissive I doubt his satisfaction if love isn't involved likewise the woman, love without a bit of submission from her man won't give her a full satisfaction either. In all, LOVE is the most important and the foundation of a successful union, without love you are heading towards a major downfall and the man is expected to lead by example as the head  of the home by showing love to his wife and naturally the only way to reciprocate the love is by loving him in return and  submitting totally to her husband.

21 comments:

  1. hehehhhe.....you go fear na!!!

    abeg na man love first o, if not na oyo d woman dey.... abeg women receive sense!

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  2. I agree with u @ Naija mom bt As dey always say "Respect is reciprocal" U don't expect a woman to be submissive to a guy who doesn't show her love. A guy's love should come first. Its just like an assurance before submission.

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    1. you could be right, his love is an assurance Before submission.

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  3. You don't beg for submission neither do you beg for love.
    This argument is kinda baseless and lacks depth especially the who should do what first part. Really??
    If I love you, I'll respect you and submission will come naturally.

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    1. @Amaka Hundeyin That's the truth of the matter. Thumbs up.

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  4. What does it matter which comes first ( and I mean in a union) ?
    Oyedepo said once that he tells couples who individually complain about their spouses to see that they are fulfilling their end of this covenant injunction hence, if a man comes to complain about his stubborn wife who is a witch, his first question to the man is, "are you loving her like yourself? Like Christ loved the church? Because, I tell you, even a witch will respond to love....".
    And to the woman that complains about the brute of a husband she is married to, he asks, " What about your part of the bargain, are you keeping to it?".
    I don't think it matters which comes first, if you've noticed there's an issue and pattern you aren't comfortable with, you should humble yourself, stoop to get what you want- it really doesn't pay to engage in this power and authority struggle in a marriage.
    Granted, it'll be ideal to have your spouse be sensible and sensitive to every nuance of you but that's not always the case so you need to work with what you've got.
    My two cents.

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    1. Well said...I learned a lot from your write-up. thank you.

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  5. Well, I agree with you atleast. Just that we have different perspectives to things like this!!!!! Some will just be indifferent about it

    Chincobee.blogspot.com

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    1. True, being indifferent develops less hurt.

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  6. I once read a novel about this couple; the man enjoyed beating his wife and she never complained. Even the kids had to fight for her but she just stayed mute. One day, the man slumped and died painfully. During the wake keep, while people where crying and all, the woman's eyes were dry till they buried him. Turns out she had been poisoning his morning tea with a slow acting substance for years. Without love even the gentlest person can become heartless. A lot of men take advantage of submissive wives, which in turns makes other women scared to be submissive.

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    1. gbam!!!!

      submive oshi wo ni yen??


      smtcheeeewwwww

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  7. Oh God! How wicked of the woman...A lesson or two is learned from the story I guess.

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    1. Atiboloko- Oyoyo20 August 2015 at 09:42

      wicked???, How about the man? what if he had beat her to death?
      ok, not that I am saying killing him is ok, that is the height, but, i dont think wicked is the right word. Enough said, a lesson is learnt, silent killers.

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  8. How did Christ love d church? He loved us first so Dear men of d worl. Use dis as an example

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  9. Atiboloko- Oyoyo20 August 2015 at 09:45

    Like several people have said, both go hand in hand, however according to the Bible, Love covereth ALL things, if you love DH, you will submit to him. I agree that as a woman, we are wired to respond to what we receive, as we receive the love, submission, go follow sharp sharp. In all sincerity, the latter works best, the former, you need GRACE for it.
    Great work NM

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, please visit more often.

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  10. Above the passage before God said wives submit to you husband, the bible says "submit to one another" one another is both male and female. marriage is not all about wife submit to husband, some husband misuse this submission and turn it into abuse. for a man to go for a woman he must have loved her, he should love her first to marry her before she start submitting to him as the wife. men should learn to respect their wife and submit as well. Submitting to wives from husband is not giving up his right as the man of the house but acknowledging that his wife is human too who can hurt. a husband that understood the meaning of marriage should know this. marriage is not about exercising authority, its more of a team work.

    And research has shown that women finds it very easy and willing to submit to a man who shows them love.

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    1. Very good....in addition men should have the fear of the Lord as well.

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