Saturday, 4 July 2015

Stressed from trying to be the perfect wife and mother?

I just thought if this incident that happened few months ago and I decided to share it with my readers, it's  going  to be a food for thought for us all.

A while ago my DH's cousin came reporting the wife to my husband, he sounded really bitter while laying his complaint, I excused them to have their discussion with the consolation my DH will let me know if it concerns me.
DH never discussed it with me afterwards and I didn't bother much till his wife called me the following week. After exchanging pleasantries she went on to tell me her marriage is facing a lot of storm and she wanted me to plead to my DH on he behalf so he can talk to his cousin. She complained bitterly he doesn't eat her food anymore. I got a bit confused as to what to tell her, I simply assured her I'll speak to my DH and urged her not to get worked up over it as well‎.

I quickly called the ‎ attention of my DH to what Felix's wife‎ just told me he said it's not his habit to get into couples squabble and decided to ignore them so they can settle themselves. What was Felix's complaint concerning the wife? I asked.
DH said Felix complained his wife wants to kill him with beans porridge‎, she is unkempt, lazy and has the habit of tying a wrapper around her chest he went on to compare the wife to me. I didn't like what I just heard, everything was wrong to me: firstly, comparing your home/ marriage to another person' home/ marriage is perfect! quote me anywhere please. No child comes with the right manners or discipline from the womb, it's the duty of every parent to teach, nurture and put your home/marriage in order.

I'm not a counselor or motivational speaker but this is common knowledge I am sharing, a typical African society which naija falls under is of the believe that women are more burdened with the task of putting their homes together, to a large extent it's true but I plead with fellow wives to also love themselves while making sure their homes are in order, cook very good meals and enjoy yourself, stop all these tying of wrapper accros your chest and switch over to bum shorts and tan tops, if you can't double as a nanny/maid/working mother get helping hands, some are built tougher from start while many are not ‎. Treat yourself regularly to a spa treatment, get manicure and a pedicure, sweethearts you must not buy all the clinique and Makari products in the market to get the glowing skin, so many natural products such as the shea butter and coconut serves even safer purpose. 

Not because you are married you stop looking beautiful and presentable, keep looking hot just the way your spouses met you those years back. And to the men not because you are married to her you begin to treat her like a trophy wife, you suddenly stop appreciating and loving her. 

Finally, let's all learn never to involve third parties in our homes, fight and settle yourselves immediately, the lawn isn't greener at the other side. 

‎Have a wonderful weekend! Muah!!

Photo credit: google images.‎


  1. Well said! That yu are marred isnt reason enough to let yourself go.. great read as usual!

  2. As always u r on point!!

  3. Hmm! Much expectation from a wife especially if she is a stay at home mum. Much as I would not compromise on cleanliness, healthy food and a friendly environment, I think the men should find a way to motivate such women rather than complaining. How often do DHs take their wives out or take her to the movies. Pay for a spa treatment for her and once in a while take a vacation together. It helps the psyche of a woman and she begins to glow. She would see no reason why she must tie wrapper around her chest even if it's just to wash plates. Her orientation will change by force. But wives, too, help yourselves the little you can.

  4. Good you threw more light on the role men ought to play in this. Thanks.


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