Saturday, 26 September 2015

A hilarious labour room experience.



I read this on  lailas blog and couldn't stop laughing as I had a similar experience several times in the past. Please enjoy the funny experience...lmao.





Things to expect at a maternity home, especially in the delivery or labour arena (based on my personal experience). I went to spend my holidays with my pregnant sister in Aba, Her hubby is a very busy bank official, his sister who stays with them had a job interview at Enugu and so that's how I stayed with my sister through an incredible 20 plus hours labour period. Like earlier stated, this list is based on my personal experience of over 20 hours painful labour. Enjoy... 

* Pregnant women in labour might just be mistaken for crazy. They don't mind walking round the room naked, a few don't care who is present. You will hear things like: "yeah! Mummy ooo, Ahh! Chukwudi, ooh! I'm in pains ooo!" 

* They are prayer warriors(same goes for their carer). My sister was 'kabashing'. It's not unusual to hear: ''libra ba bosh', 'ka bosh ske muntele'' e.t.c. The carer too is expected to be a clergy. 

* Jesus must have many wives. With so many women screaming "Jesus uuu!, Jesus uuu!! Jesus uuu!!!" You'll begin to wonder if he's responsible for their pregnancy.

 * You'll get naked with speed and alacrity. ''...Nobody will see my nakedness, except my husband...'', Wo! You'll open your Congo by yourself waa, when time reach, everything will be revealed. The fun part is that they'll ask your husband outta the room. Hahaha! 

* There ain't no better singer than an expectant grandmother. Sincerely, Beyonce they learn work. Come see as all dem these mama dey throw chorus. These women are so caring, they pray and sing before their daughter is delivered of the baby, after delivery they continue, but this time they do it shouting. 

* You can't take away the pain. This is to the possessors of the JT that did the damage.Yes you can't take away the pain but you can ease it by staying with them especially if it is her first time. There is really no better time to show you care. 

* Every child's first language is... IGBO! Every baby's first cry is "Uwa aaa uwa aaa... " When translated it means ''this life"How ironic aiit? #Yimu. 

* Crying is auspicious. When the baby cries, for the first time everybody rejoices at the cry of another.

 * There will be nothing like a mothers instinctive love. As weak as my sister was after the CS, each time she hears her baby's voice, you'll see this very weak lady stretching her hands towards the direction of the baby, that was one of the most memorable and touching moment. 

* Women are natural carers. They still come to with their daughters when in labour. Great respect for women.

 * It's always worth it. Young woman if you are not ready, please don't do, the thing can fit pain eeh. But at the end it's always worth.

 * Mothers of 10 how did you do it? Seriously, how did they do it? 

*They say to be forewarned is to be forearmed. Forewarning the carer. In case you mistakenly find yourself caring for a pregnant woman in labour, adhere to the following:

 * Wear only original and dark coloured cloth. This is very important especially if it's a first for the woman. Why? They will drag and pull anything they touch, my sister pulled my head, shirt, jean, she nearly pulled my JT. Na God save me. 

* Train hard and put on helmet. I meant it when I said TRAIN, but if you are caught unawares put on a HELMET. I know my sis wasn't angry with me, but I still got occasional slaps on the face and the head. Just imagine I made her angry before hand, I for dey wear P.O.P now. 

* Be ready to rub waist(s). I rubbed not only my sis waist, I also rubbed that of a woman lying adjacent to her. Don't worry they will appreciate you later. 

* Tell her not to shout. Tell her to breath in and out through her mouth instead. For real, it makes the pain more bearable. 

* Cesarean session is no death sentence. If she's has been in labour for up to 12 hours, please consider CS, so you don't lose the woman or their baby. My sister's baby was weak after CS but he is good now.

 * Complain about anything. If she complains about anything don't be shy to call the nurses, after all you paid for their services. Don't assume! 

* Complain about anything (baby). If the baby cries too much, complain!. If it doesn't cry, complain!. If the baby doesn't breath well, complain!. Be very observant of the baby.

 In conclusion, the maternity clinic is a place of agony and pains, then joy and happiness at last. Children are a beautiful thing and a miracle. Now I feel greater pain for a woman who lose her child. I disturbed the nurses eeh, they initially thought she was my wife, because of how much I cared. Now I'm still being appreciated by the staff and other families at the maternity home. I have always loved children, but now I have more respect for the process through which they come to us. The experience wasn't pleasant in any sense, but if I had to do it all over again for my loved ones, I will. God bless my mother and every other mom and mom to be. Big ups. 

Have you experienced labour before? Then let's read your story. 





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37 comments:

  1. wow! you won't kill me with laughter this morning, am telling you!
    so funny!

    they shout and call on Jesus because he is only their husband, He is their redeemer, the pain carrier, the Deliverer, the way maker, and when He says Yes no one can say No. the I AM THAT I AM. they called because they have faith in Him and Believe in Him!

    pity your sis. goes through CS. i believe she is smiling now when ever she looks at at her son and all other things are history.


    happy Sunday in advance!!!




    www.wlcmwisdom.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The pain is so excruciating its only Jesus that can save one at that moment..


      Happy sunday too in advance!

      Delete
  2. This post is hilarious even with its message. I read every single word. Too bad, I don't have the experience of either the carer or caree


    Chincobee.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry, someday you'll have the experience.

      Delete
  3. I remember calling Jesus as well while giving birth to my son two years ago. You wouldn't understand until you get in there. Very hilarious though...
    www.alabekee.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right, the pains cant really be explained till you feel it.

      Delete
  4. Choi! Getting scared already oooo.

    Bolateethole.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Eyah... Am so glad my mum said she gave birth to me without stress. It was just like going to pee. But this is scary.
    pheezy's corner

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  6. ROFL. Even before i started reading I was already tearing up from the caption cos i could imagine how it would go. Lol. Sweet pain.
    naijaflo.com

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  7. Really scared but i will overcome the pain when the right time comes. God will see me through!
    www.ckjacob.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Replies
    1. Eka, u haf reach here? I'm back dear. Good to be back home and welcome aboard.

      Delete
  9. Lol.. this really cracked me up. But then from experience, I know exactly what the writer is talking about. Childbirth is too painful but it's amazing how women forget the pain after and desire to get pregnant again. I'm still thumping up for we women. God really took his time to create us. I wish every woman the pain and joy of childbirth. May God be praised. In between my mum said she always give birth without stress, it's like that with some people but one day I sat down and think about this and realized that all my mum's 6 children never weigh above 2.7kg - 3kg at birth I believe the lesser the weight, the easier it becomes especially if it's a first time mum.


    www.beinspiredwithmily.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chai! Your mum tried oo..women are relly strong!

      Delete
  10. Lol.. this really cracked me up. But then from experience, I know exactly what the writer is talking about. Childbirth is too painful but it's amazing how women forget the pain after and desire to get pregnant again. I'm still thumping up for we women. God really took his time to create us. I wish every woman the pain and joy of childbirth. May God be praised. In between my mum said she always give birth without stress, it's like that with some people but one day I sat down and think about this and realized that all my mum's 6 children never weigh above 2.7kg - 3kg at birth I believe the lesser the weight, the easier it becomes especially if it's a first time mum.


    www.beinspiredwithmily.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. lolz...funny... l've made up my mind sha..supernatural childbirth tins



    EVEN BEGGARS DEY HUSTLE

    ReplyDelete
  12. I spoke on tongues, called Jesus...taught he didn't hear me call him because of the pains,i added "Olorun Oyedepo,Olorun Adeboye"(God of Oyedepo,God of Adeboye)...
    Haaaa,that experience!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Lolzzz, I don laugh tire. This post reminds me of my cousin I was with her during labour this was actually how she behaved.


    Www.miimisdiary.com

    ReplyDelete
  14. NaijaMom where are you?

    How can you abandon your children just like that? I hope all is well?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Naija mum where are you? I miss your blog updates oo...you'll have to gist us what happened and why you haven't been blogging lately

    ReplyDelete
  16. Naija mum where are you? I miss your blog updates oo...you'll have to gist us what happened and why you haven't been blogging lately

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hilarious but very true... Hope you are ok? "





    Www.trendwithgloria.com

    ReplyDelete

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